Some women like sexual fantasies, but most do not. Therefore it is important, if and when people have fantasies, for the woman to be the instigator, giving the man a treat occasionally, rather than the man saying Gimme, Gimme.
But what is acceptable in terms of fantasies and what is not? What builds a relationship, and what destroys love and affection? Fantasies taken to the extreme, or fantasies that are too frequent, will destroy love and affection, or not allow love and affection to have time to be nurtured.
Now I will discuss more specifically, what and what is not acceptable. Fantasies modeled upon the natural roles of man and woman are acceptable, but those not so modeled are not. In a relationship, each submits to the other, and in the bedroom, Paul says: the wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body but the wife. (1 Cor 7:4) In practical terms, their power differs: the husband is boss of work, but the woman is the boss of sexual purity.
Some men too well know that man is head of the woman. Now this is true in terms of buying a house. But the other side of the coin, which has not been understood is that woman is head of the bedroom, because she has a more beautiful sexual nature.
The man also is supposed to be strong, brave and gentle, whilst the woman is tender and delicate, whose feelings may easily be hurt. She is not, however, supposed to be temperamental. Peter writes: giving honour upon the woman, as unto the weaker vessel . . . that your prayers be not hindered.
The fantasies described in these pages are all to bring more pleasure than pain. But the pleasurable fantasy here is thinking about a woman's power to bring not pleasure but pain to some other man some other time, She would never flog her husband so hard, even for cleansing, as for justice
First I will talk about what the woman wants the man to think about. And that is that it is the woman's role to execute punishment with a whip to those found guilty by a male judge. This is a role in this life for perhaps many women. I do not know whether it is better for the ministress of judgement to make the final decision as to the number of lashes, so that the man fears the woman and not just the lash, although obviously there would have to be a range within which she would have to choose. This punishment is not to those she hates, but those who have broken the Law and need correction.
Perhaps a small taste of the whip will make the fantasy, which I am now talking about more realistic and therefore enjoyable. Perhaps she will imprison him after the fantasy for greater appreciation. The man should enjoy this. The woman should be dressed in as much leather as possible for the whip, and have leather boots and a short black shirt and sit down outside his imprisonment.
A voluptuous woman with a snake coiled around her is the extreme of a woman being hard to get. It is good to respect womanhood, the woman’s right of refusal, and the fact that the female is not as promiscuous as the male. And after she is married she is completely unobtainable.
Although it is not good to fantasize about nearby married women in this way, it is acceptable to fantasize of women in general like this. It is also probably acceptable to fantasize of married movie stars like this also, because a man’s ungratified lust for her will not create friction with the woman’s husband, or embarrassment to the woman, or ingratitude in the man, in the way it does if it is a neighbouring wife that the man covets. So it is nothing more than a bit of a thrill.
A married woman, for life, is not allowed any other man. Therefore he possesses her. To demonstrate his ownership she might like to be spanked by hand, on her bare bottom.
A man may tie up his wife and carry her to the bed. The woman may like to be under his power. But he should untie her before they make love, because sex is a mutual interaction.
For this fantasy alone, the woman may be fully naked, during the fantasy. For all other fantasies, when the woman is in power, the man should wear at least underpants, because he wears the pants, and the woman should wear lower clothing, for decency.
A man likes a woman to sit in his lap, or to carry her to bed (clothed), but may not like to ask. He prefers to feel needed. He can do some exercise.
Belinda Carlisle sang, Kiss me all over. But for the woman to punish a man with the cane for not adoring her enough like this would be very wrong, because this is perhaps a moral fault due to fatigue. The man may need sympathetic encouragement to continue kissing a woman all over, and even if he fatigues before the woman thinks right, the woman should not even punish him by refusal to make love that night. The woman wants the man to adore her because he loves her, not because he may be punished if he doesn't.
It may be good for this fantasy to be the first fantasy that a woman teaches a man, before playing around with sticks and canes. For many women, this may be the only fantasy they play.
I believe that Belinda Carlisle is a prophetess, singing, Its going to be much better for a girl like me in the twenty-first century (millennial true liberation of women) As a prophet, I believe that women have permission to conduct these fantasies, and with advice from women of their religion will work out what works and creates not just pleasure but understanding of a woman's nature and love. And women should decide the limits and frquency of these.
The shape of her body, perhaps, speaks of her nature. The body of woman has twice the fat of a man. She is soft and gentle. Her hips are wide to bring forth life, and her breasts supply the necessary nutrition for children. Does this also teach that she can bring forth life to a man, soothe him and sympathise with the flaws in his nature like that of a baby who needs to be held to her breasts, and told what is right and wrong, and encouraged, because they cannot understand. Anyway, when a man demonstrates to the woman that he appreciates her outward form, he is worshipping.
For this a light whip may be employed, again not bound, and the man may kiss, or suck her breasts and may kiss her boots, when she tells him to, or rather, allows him to. Thigh high leather boots, and a black top covering from the hips to above the waist is good clothing to wear. The worship is of her outward form only, and the man can terminate the session at any time without loss, except the woman’s reproach. Failure to worship the woman's body is not a moral sin, like failing to adore. Therefore it may be taught with a whip.
It is disrepectful to want to initiate sexual intercouse before sufficint worship has been given to the woman. While the woman can guide him gently during this fantasy, a difficulty in paying proper respect may be because the man is not used to thinking this way, or it may be because his heart is not good enough, or it may be because he does not understand the role of a woman, which can be taught by fantasy with words. Although a whip teaches worship in a fantasy, the lesson learned from the pleasurable fantasy is that normally without a whip, the man should always worship before being allowed to make love.
For a woman to hit a man with her hand is pretty pathetic; a birch is too nasty; and a crop is for animals. Therefore she should use a cane for this fantasy. This should be fun, unless the woman is strong like Serena Williams, in which case it must be toned down. Most men, anyway would not like being caned too hard, and although they like the thought of it, would not like the reality. Therefore light or medium caning should normally be employed. But many men who do not like to be caned hard at the time, like the thought of it before and after, so experimentation therefore is in order.
The woman, God has revealed, is boss of the bedroom. This does not mean she dominates the man in bed. What it does mean, however, is that she can refuse the man until she is ready, until she has done enough kissing and hugging. If the man is horrible by trying to persuade the woman to make love before she is ready, the woman should refuse to sleep with him that night. She can also refuse him if he has hurt her feelings. Although Paul said for the woman, and the man, not to deprive each other, lest they fall into sin, with a true appreciation of the value of a woman, a man should not fall into sin. (But she should not use this as a weapon of a rebellious woman, to get her own way, to win arguments, and to avoid timely rebuke. She should also love her man, seeking to reward him. After all, men want and need women more than women need men.) A woman can laugh among her girlfriends about a man’s fantasy foibles, or tell them to laugh at him, if he chickens out, but a man should not speak disrespectfully of his wife in such a way. But woman should not laugh at her husband’s authority, or cause him general or moral disrespect in the presence of others. She should want him to do better, for her pride.
The man should not be bound, and should wear thin boxer underpants. He is supposed to be brave, not servile to the woman.
The fantasy that appeals to me is for the woman to wear blue, therefore, rather than black is the best colour for this fantasy. She should wear blue hot pants and a man’s blue unbuttoned shirt, sometimes opening it, and with no bra. Outside the bedroom, the woman is submissive, and weak. But with a cane in her hand, she finds that she can lord it over the man in the bedroom. This is well placed pride.
Initially she should always stop when the man wants. But when she knows his limits and what he likes, I do not know whether she can refuse to make love to him once, unless he completes the session to her satisfaction. She can also add some extra strokes if he does not change tack sufficiently, to give her more pleasure in bed. Pride makes a man think that he is good enough without trying. It is alright to punish a man for bad technique because this is not a moral fault, just laziness, which he cannot help.
The fantasy should not make men miserable before or after. A fantasy should always bring the man net pleasure, and if it doesn’t she must change it. But if a woman is motivated by pride and desire for pleasure, she should be able not to be cruel. And if the woman goes too far, the man can simply say, ‘No more fantasies’, and the woman has no right to refuse the man for quitting any fantasy for a time, or quitting indefinitely.
Although the woman can complain of technique during this fantasy, or request hopefully, at other times, that he take more care with technique, complaints should not be in the presence of others. She can only boast, lie, or be quiet.)
Importantly, when making love, the man should try to remember that he is not seeking to satisfy himself. He is worshipping the woman as a goddess, with his body. And the pleasures that flow are his reward, for duty.
Sexual intercourse should be thought of as the woman rewarding a man. Although she decides what days and hours and minutes and seconds to initiate, she must love her man and seek to reward him as much as possible for being a good husband. But she should abstain, I believe from the time her period finishes, for seven days. This is when her desire is low, until it begins increasing. She is not only there for the husbands pleasure. She has value other than imparting pleasure. But if the husband is a good man and she rarely rewards him, being too busy, it is grounds for divorce.
The man should wear pants, perhaps broad blue or brown striped rather than floral to look masculine. And if he wears a shirt, a plain non colourful (white, grey, brown, or black) T-Shirt, rather than a normal pyjama shirt, might be preferred for masculinity by most women.
And the woman should be clothed, normally with a short nightie, with a plunging neckline, perhaps even to reveal most or all, of her breasts. She can alter what she reveals to keep the man interested. It is good to be clothed, that masculine/feminine overtones should colour the merely physical aspect. We are not just physical.
The woman should lead the act; from temptation by her refined speech, to erection through her breasts, to insertion to initiate, which should be in the hands of the woman. The man should not be conscious of anything hard core. All he is conscious of, is that a woman's body is a palace that gives him wonderful pleasure. The palace unlocks without any effort on his part. Indeed he should learn that his keys do not work.
Perhaps some unmarried women bestow favours without requesting marriage. But it is wrong for a man to request this. And if it happens that the pleasure of the woman's orgasm, binds her to the man in love, the man must marry her.
I read in New Scientist that this is what causes women to bind, whilst the pleasure of erection causes a man to love a woman. Perhaps this has something to do with why men initiate the search for a woman, and why men propose. This is more than just a desire for pleasure, but the chemistry of the body is such that pleasure through the glands should lead to love in the heart.
Although the woman is boss of the bedroom, the man is boss of the house. Threfore perhaps a man might be so lucky as for the woman to ask him to cane her in the kithchen or office.
A woman is not supposed to be strong like a man. Therefore he should hit her with no more force than that with which an average woman might hit a man, and then only with one such stroke a year (just to show who has control). And then only if she has previously said that lighter caning is not enough. Other caning should be light or medium. If the man is too careless, the woman should not sleep with him, or even shut him out of the bedroom for a while, to teach him a lesson. The woman should not be bound when caned, as this is to treat her like a piece of dirt.
The woman should wear a short dress with at least a plunging neckline, and have a bare bottom. The woman should look feminine, but not too delicate.
If the woman punishes a man with a flexible cane, for a fault, it should be a fault that is not moral, like being home late from work. Punishment is to be a joke, not for correction. Perhaps the woman thinks it more humerous than the man. Otherwise there is guilt and misery, not fun.
Although some may think it wrong to treat a woman as a goddess, this is not what the man is actually doing. He is merely ascribing to the woman that power that God has put upon her. He is not replacing God with a woman, but rather thanking God for ministering to him through the woman. The converse to this is in the matter of authority, where the woman’s head (or god in this matter is man). No one is saying that the woman is goddess; her goddess like power in this matter is merely being acknowledged. But John did say, not speajking of sex, If we love one another God dwelleth within us.
To illustrate that this is not blasphemy, another godlike power that a woman has is the power of creation. God created Adam, from the dust, and Eve from Adam’s rib. But God has given the woman a portion of his power, in a sense, when she creates a baby. But this is all that she can create. The worship of Venus should therefore be thought of as a corruption of the truth, rather than as a total invention.
So God made two great lights; the greater light (man) to rule the day, and the lesser light (woman) to rule the night. Man’s rule is understood from the Scriptures, but woman’s equality is a mystery, unfolding as the coming of the Lord draws nigh. God has made woman to rule the night, because she loves affection more than pleasure.