Divorce was sanctioned under the Old Covenant in Deut 24:1 where it is written: When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement.
The grounds for this divorce, translated as uncleanness, literally meaning ‘nakedness of a thing’, must be taken to mean some type of indecency. Otherwise the commandments in Deut 22:13-21 do not make sense. In these Scriptures it is described how a man might try to get rid of his wife by charging her with shameful conduct before marriage. If the accusation was false it was commanded: she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. (Deut 24:19) This commandment should be thought of as the general prohibition from divorcing innocent women. Because if, under the Old Covenant, husbands could divorce their wives for any reason, what need to falsely accuse one’s wife to effect a separation?
God’s thoughts about illegal divorce is made clear in Mal 2:16 which says: the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away, for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. If God so hates unjustified divorce, we should understand that it was never acceptable under the Old Covenant.
The New Testament also forbids divorcing innocent women. Paul says: let not the husband put away his wife. (1 Cor 7:11) Jesus, when speaking against divorce, reasoned from the Scripture in Genesis, that the two shall become one flesh, and said: What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mark 9:9)
Some may think divorce is all right because some denominations allow it, but they forget that all our works are before God. And God says: the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously. (Mal 2:14) Instead of divorce, God tells the man: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
In agreement with the Old Testament teaching against divorce, Jesus said: it has been said, Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you, that whoever divorces his wife, for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to be considered an adulteress. (Matt 5:31,32) (The words underlined are per Spiros Zodhiates Th. D. ‘The Complete Word Study Dictionary.’) This is because divorce should only be enacted for the adultery of the woman. The Jews had been applying the method for divorce, without a valid reason for divorce.
Jesus says again: Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. (Mark 10:11) The words ‘committeth adultery against her’, can better be rendered ‘causes adultery upon her’. (Spiros Zodhiates) I do not think that the woman becomes an adulteress, but rather she is stigmatised as an adulteress. Although not stated in Mark 10:11, it is implied that the divorce, which stigmatises adultery upon the woman, is an invalid divorce, taken with insufficient reason. This is stated specifically in Matt 5:32 and Matt 19:9.
The woman also may be the cause of transgression in an illegal divorce. Jesus said: if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she commits adultery. (Mark 10:11) This is because God does not recognise an illegal divorce, and regards the woman as still being married to her original husband.
A temporary liaison of her husband with another woman, is not a valid reason for the woman to take out a divorce, as nowhere in the Scriptures is this defined as adultery. Although concubinage is wrong and not allowed today, the Old Testament law which forbad adultery, allowed concubinage. Therefore it is not adultery for a married man to have a brief affair with an unmarried woman. It is, however, wrong for a man to use a woman in this way.
However, where a husband is guilty of long term neglect of his wife in favour of other women, he may be as guilty of adultery as a man who: putteth away his wife and marrieth another (Luke 16:18,) which Jesus said was adultery. However, a woman should speak to her husband and attempt to turn him before divorcing him, as in making this decision, the future is more important than the past about which nothing can be done.
If a woman takes out an invalid divorce, and other reasons for a valid divorce are given in the next section, Jesus words apply, when He said: whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (Matt 5:32)
Paul gives further instruction regarding separation without a legal divorce, when he said: And unto the married I command, yet not I but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. (1 Cor 7:10,11)
Under the Old Covenant (Deut 22:22-24), although not today, adultery could be punished by death. But it seems that the husband had the right to forgive, and merely divorce his wife. This is probably why some men caught in adultery, would offer gifts to the husband. It is written: whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding . . . jealousy is the rage of man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts. (Prov 6:32-35)
Why does God let some escape punishment? God says: I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live. (Ezek 33:11)
Although the story of Joseph and Mary is in the New Testament, they were still under the Old Covenant. Before Joseph understood that Mary’s child Jesus had been conceived by the Holy Spirit: Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily. (Matt 1:19).
Joseph, certainly, would not have broken God’s law and allowed a sin to go unpunished if God had always required punishment. Under the Law of Moses it was a sin to conceal sins that should be punished (Lev 5:1, 20:4,5). However as adultery is primarily a sin against the husband of the wife, it seems that the husband had the right to forgive. In Joseph’s mind must have been the thought, that a woman who was in most respects of such noble character, deserves a second chance. However, while he thought about this: the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. (Matt 1:20)
In general, because the hearts of men and women are sinful, and God did not want to always put every sinner to death, He gave divorce as an escape clause. When asked why divorce was given, Jesus replied: Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives. (Matt 19:8)
This reminds me of God, after the flood, putting the rainbow in the sky as a sign of his covenant: the Lord said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man’s sake; for the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth . . . And I will establish my covenant with you: neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood . . . I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant. (Gen 8:21, 9:11-13)
As God does not keep flooding the earth to destroy sinners, shown by the rainbow, God gave divorce as an optional means of escape for adulterers. Although divorce removes the future guilt of a woman by removing her obligations to her first husband, it does not remove the guilt of her actions, which made the divorce necessary in the first place.
The purpose of the laws against adultery, including a provision for divorce, is to protect marriages from being spoiled. That is, that each partner may be able to trust the other, and respect their rights. But after a marriage has been dissolved by a legal divorce, there is no marriage to protect. Future relationships of both parties cannot offend the other party of the original marriage.
Jesus words against divorce were to preserve the original marriage from being illegally dissolved, not to sentence either party to a lifetime of loneliness, after the marriage is legally dissolved.
If the divorce is legal, remarriage is permitted for both parties. Jesus excluded legal divorce, when He said that future relationships after divorce were adulterous. He said, and I quote again: whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to be considered an adulteress. (Matt 5:32) Words underlined from Spiros Zodhiates. There is no evidence that this Scripture speaks only of the time between betrothal and marriage. The word translated fornication by the KJV and sexual immorality by the NKJV, is a general word referring to all kinds of sexual immorality, including adultery. And again Jesus said: Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for sexual immorality, and shall marry another, committeth adultery. (Matt 19:9)
The Old Testament agrees with the New, in that remarriage after legal divorce is permitted. Moses said: let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. (Deut 24:1,2)
When is a marriage legally dissolved by divorce? We saw in the last section from the Old Testament, for: uncleanness (Deut 24:1) of the woman, meaning some sexual immorality. We also saw from the words of Christ for: sexual immorality (Matt 5:32) of the woman. A man also can reasonably expect his wife to be a virgin on marriage, unless she discloses otherwise. If she lies about her past and the man finds out, he can also divorce her. In this case, in the Old Testament, the woman could be put to death. Today this should translate into sanctioning a divorce. However, marriage for any woman, even a whore, was permitted, although not for a priest (Lev 21:7). The only requirement seems to be that she must disclose her past.
As previously discussed, a brief affair between a married man and another woman is not sufficient grounds for divorcing that man, although a long-term affair, involving neglect to his wife, may be. But is there any other sin on the part of the man that sanctions divorce? There is, and it is desertion. Paul, speaking to the Corinthians of the marriage between a saved person and an unsaved, said: if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. (1 Cor 7:15) As a sister is not under bondage to the man, she can remarry.
How can she be expected to honour her husband, by keeping herself only for him, when he has left her permanently. I also believe that if a so-called Christian man leaves his Christian wife, and all attempts to bring about a reconciliation fail, after a suitable time has elapsed, the wife should no longer consider herself bound by the law to her husband, and she can remarry. In this case the guilty party is the original husband, not the wife. However if a woman leaves a man and does not commit adultery, the man cannot divorce his wife. He can however take a second wife, but his door must always be open to receive his first wife back. He would then have two wives. Although not the will of God, 1 Cor 7:10 makes this provision for a wife to depart from her husband, if she remains unmarried. But there is no provision for a husband to desert his wife. Paul says: let not the husband put away his wife. So the prohibition from separation is stronger in the case of the man.
The same applies to a man who has taken an illegal divorce against his wife, as to desertion. The woman, on the basis of a man’s illegal divorce and desertion, after attempts to effect a reconciliation have failed, can then take out a legal divorce (in the church's eyes), against her husband, and be free to remarry.
Although this may appear to contradict some Scriptures, a closer examination shows that this is not the case. In Matt 19:9, the second half of the verse condemning the marriage of the woman who is put away, is absent from some ancient Greek manuscripts, and is best ignored. And Luke 16:18, where it says: whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery, the words ‘put away’ mean to ‘loose’. They refer to a guilty wife enacting a divorce, not to an innocent wife, whose husband enacted the divorce. (Spiros Zodhiates)
A man who is physically violent and punches his wife, is as guilty as a man who deserts his wife. If she is afraid to live with him, the man has broken the marriage contract, just as seriously as a woman can by committing adultery. I believe that in this case a woman is allowed to legally divorce her husband, although sometimes attempts should be made at reconciliation. Other forms of cruelty may also justify divorce, as the marriage bond is that the husband cherish his wife. But divorce should not be taken lightly according to Jesus' command.
There is no sin that cannot be forgiven by God and by the church, if there is repentance and confession. But repentance means making amends in the case of an illegal divorce.
This means that a man who has illegally divorced his wife must tell her that he is willing to take her back. If she wishes to return, this means taking two wives, if he has married again. Where the woman has remarried, the man needs simply to ask the woman’s forgiveness, and she need not return to him.
In the case of a woman who has left her husband illegally, and married another man, she must tell her first husband that she is willing to return to him. The man then has the option of either receiving her back or legally divorcing her. If her first husband then legally divorces her, only then does her second marriage become valid in the sight of God. They should then renew their vows. David received his wife Michal back from her second husband. (2 Sam 3:13-16) So adultery can be forgiven without enacting a divorce.
There is thus a difference between a legal divorce, in which case the husband must not receive his wife back (Deut 24:4) and an illegal divorce, in which case the husband may receive his wife back.